This Week In My Library: 7.25.23

books for my exes, mugs to get fired for and first-job flubs

Life of a Bookman

What I'm reading rn: I lived out my high school dreams and finished The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros. Apparently most people read this in school? I was not one of them...but I am now!! Ok look, this is going to get me fired from the internet but I didn't love it. I appreciated it – the style and rhythm of the vignettes The wrestling with race, class and gender in a way that brought it alive. So ya, I'm glad I read it, but what I loved most was the introduction in the 25th anniversary edition. Cisneros gives this stunning journey through her life which ends in an anecdote about her mother that moved me to tears. I sorta wished the whole book had been more of that (again, internet don't fire me. I appreciated it!!!) Oh, and speaking of Cisneros things I love, if you haven't read her poem “Ass” i suggest you do. I officiated a wedding (THE wedding) which included this reading and wow wow wow, like my own ass, what a house of enormous happiness.

What I dog-eared the shit out of: What is true love? What is a life with partnership and do we over-index on that form of love? What role does our community play? If you've ever asked any question about love, might I suggest you read All About Love by Bell Hooks. I devoured this book in one long sitting on a sunny winter day in the park. I wanted to underline literally everything, but I didn't have a pen or a phone with me so I took to dog earring just about every page instead (which poses a real problem when you want to dog ear both side of a page!!!! A problem I never knew I needed and still don't know how to solve). I promptly bought like six copies and gave it to a bunch of people (and I fantasized about anonymously mailing it to every ex who couldn't seem to wrap their heads around commitment lulz). Reading all about love was like finding my center of gravity, and I wish every one of you would read it too.

What I'm writing: That Novel really kicked my ass last week folks. I basically got my weekly submission back from my writing coach with “YA WHIFFED...HARD” stamped on the front of the 20 pages. JKJK, Julie is too supportive and wonderful and brilliant to ever do that to me. But let's just say, I wasn't “getting it” when it came to deepening the character development at the re-worked opening scenes of the novel. Which I share to remind you that, sometimes things take multiple tries. We fail until we “get it” but only if we keep going. My double-monitor writing command center upgrade couldn't have come at a better time!!!

Woman’s studies

What gets passed down becomes our history. A few for the canon: Ok, you're going to notice a theme here as soon as I tell you that the piece you must must must read is What if friendship, not marriage, was at the center of life by Rhaina Cohen for The Atlantic. It's about 3 years old but I just stumbled on it. And there's a high likelihood if we texted this weekend, you received this link from me...married or not. It's a beautiful examination of friendships, their intimacy, and our lack of language and social constructions for lives that revolve around our BFFs. Because That Novel is based in the late 1800s on real women with real friendships, I've read hundreds of preserved letters between best friends. And they sound like they're deeply in love with one-another to a 2023 woman (me) limited by what society tells me a platonic “friendship” can look and sound like. I think my new goal in life is for one day someone to be reading the handwritten letter I sent to my girlfriends (because I send many) and think to themselves, she's deeply in love with them! Because I am. xx

To have kids or not to have kids? Press reply if you have thoughts. JKJK but that's the central question at the heart of this Dear Sugar Advice Column: “The Ghost Ship That Didn't Carry Us”. Some background here: Dear Sugar was my absolute favorite blog a long time ago. “Sugar” is Cheryl Strayed, who later found fame with her book turned movie WILD. One of her taglines was “Write like a motherfucker” which I obviously loved then and I love it now. I posted a photo of a mug with that slogan on it to my facebook page in 2010 and it almost got me fired from my first real job. Two lessons here, 1) Don't accept friend requests from your boss 2) don't work for people who don't get how facebook works [like no, your board member I've never met didn't see this, and if they did who cares??] 3) I'm only just realizing I desperately need this mug in my life as a reminder of the poetry of it all. But back to Dear Sugar...Not only is the writing and life philosophy hauntingly beautiful for any situation, not just kids, it's spot on reflection for most big decisions. It's long, but worth it for anyone circling around this ever present theme in a woman's life.

Pass it on

Stories are heirlooms. Here's one of mine: I got some pool-hang time with a dear friend about 25-years my senior and damn, intergenerational friends are so important to me. Get yourself a galpal from another generation. In discussing all the things (wide-leg khakis, hiring decisions, local artists, and dog training), it became obvious that one book we both want to read desperately needs to be discussed. Which is when I divulged that I've never been in a book club! Me. Book lover. Book writer. No book club??? Why you might ask? Well, because I've never been invited. (Is there some secret rule about “No Authors Allowed”?) Anyways, I'm hereby changing that by forming one of my own. Which currently has one other person in it. What do I do next? LMK!!!

xx
Maxie