MEMPHIS, BREAKUPS, AND DIFFICULT REALITIES

LIFE OF A BOOKMAN

Bookman: 1. a person who has a love of books and especially of reading. 2. a person who is involved in the writing, publishing, or selling of books. Oh, hi that's me!!

Breakup blues: If you've ever had your heart crushed, Good Material by Dolly Alderton will resonate.I took this book down in one big gulp of understanding: the way there are two sides to every story in a breakup, the small but insane things we do to check on proof of life, how much talking about it is too much talking about it. But still, this book was funny and light. I had no idea where it was going but I felt the need to keep reading. It was weird to me that the book was written from the POV of a dude, but that accomplished a strong assessment on the state of male loneliness which is especially highlighted when they're going through emotional times like a breakup. I remember my ex telling me post-breakup that he had no one to talk to. But you have so many friends, I remember saying. But not friends that he could really get into it with. Meanwhile, every one of my conversations at that time had the emotional acuity of free therapy. Alas, Good Material is very readable, relatable, and worth finishing to the end. 

WOMEN’S STUDIES

What gets passed down becomes our history. A few for the canon: The Gisele Pelicot case is harrowing. And honestly, that word doesn't even cut it. I don't even want to rewrite the details of her case here, but I encourage you to read about it. A victim of countless sexual crimes, she chose not to remain anonymous to fight for all women in France, and all women who are victims of violence. The case has brought up an important conversation around the way rape is covered by the media, and it's a reminder that using words like "monster" isn't the best language, because it exceptionalizes the criminal – when in fact 90% of rapes are perpetrated by a person the woman knows and 33% of the time it happens in her own home. If that's the case, "monsters" are literally everywhere?? There's important dialogue happening because of this tragedy, and it's worth digesting, while painful.

PASS IT ON

Stories are heirlooms. Here's one of mine: Last week I was in Portland and Memphis – hello Voodoo donuts! Hello central BBQ! And wow, we have some seriously cool cities in the ole US of A. Portland was to be expected (weird! wonderful! oh so weird!), but Memphis was the real surprise and delight. I've stopped through Memphis a million times growing up, during the bi-annual 10-hour family car ride from Dallas to Nashville. We'd always stop and eat Rendevous ribs, but I hadn't been back in almost 20 years. 

Memphis has such an incredible creative scene and so much history (omg watch Stax: Soulsville USA on HBO if you haven't, which chronicles the producers, writers, and musicians in Memphis who defined an era) including a visit to Lorraine Motel (now the National Civil Rights Museum) where MLK was assassinated. I drank incredible coffee with a blueberry scone at the Arrive Hotel. Took a walk through a pyramid that houses not the Egyptians, but a Bass Pro Shops??? Weird.



Things really heated up at the Crosstown Concourse, which does more for a community in one repurposed Sears building than most cities do with an entire town block. I sat and listened to epic music in the lounge of the Memphis Listening Lab  – if you close your eyes, it's as if a live band is playing right in front of your face. Those speakers!!! (Gah what an experience that place is! Music lovers MUST visit) Took a tour through Ridgeline VC which is showing the world what Memphis-based capital can do! Sadly, Crosstown Arts was closed otherwise I would have never left the museum. The tour ended with the best, most dangerous “Juan's Margarita” at Global Cafe which supports immigrant and refugee food entrepreneurs. Memphis is not only cool, but there's clearly leadership at the helm of this city trying to bring it up a notch for all who live there while preserving its roots, its diverse community, and its coolness. Visittttttt.

And no, this was not paid for by the Memphis Tourism Board. Just the byproduct of spending an amazing weekend with my dearest friends who now call Memphis home.

Woman on xx