699TH IN LINE WORTHY AND WEAPONIZED INCOMPETENCE

LIFE OF A BOOKMAN

Bookman: 1. a person who has a love of books and especially of reading. 2. a person who is involved in the writing, publishing, or selling of books. Oh, hi that's me!!

Finished: Ok, as promised, I tore through and finished ALL FOURS by Miranda July. I cannot stop trying to talk about it with people. But no one I know has read it? So I'm sending my copy to my bestie in SF who will have things to say, because she's a Patron Saint of Library Cards and while the 699th in line is wait-able for her (#respect), it's not for me. I need to talk about all the wild moments. I won't spoil too much but since the NYT already wrote about “that moment” when a tampon gets changed by a lover, let's just say MUST DISCUSS.

On a more thoughtful note, I was in awe of July's craft. She wove so many threads, from the mundane to the important. Her details mattered. The stock-print art hanging on the wall of a motel room wall had an arc as interesting as the main character's husband. It was a beautiful display of story architecture. Not everyone agrees with me. A writer friend of mine described this book as creative-class navel gazing (well-off white lady artist in LA as the main character, hello), and that's a totally valid and fair critique. There were moments where I was like wow, the doubts and internals of this main character are whims of people that annoy the shit out of me. And then I realized those people are often me. So mirrors are fun, aren't they? ALL FOURS was fun, deep, menopause strong, full of the erotic, and good writing. But don't read it if you're wondering if you should leave your husband because it might make you want to leave your husband. JK, sorta.

WOMEN’S STUDIES

What gets passed down becomes our history. A few for the canon:

Sometimes we can understand how a society values its women by what is happening with the men. Take fatherhood. And how we treat dads at the grocery store ALONE with their kids like they're the crown prince of humanity. When their incompetence gets weaponized, it adds even more to the woman's plate, “Because you're just better at soothing her when she's upset.” Are we though? This article in The New Yorker Should We Expect More From Dads? had a lot to say about that. The line texted back and forth with my gal pals was how they get “Extra credit for simply not being awful.” Amen? I love when women of older generations comment on women's expectations of sharing the home/child labor with our partners, and how culture prevented them from even dreaming of that – much less expecting it. Hopefully, research like the one published in the books reviewed here will help us actually have it.

PASS IT ON

Stories are heirlooms. Here's one of mine:

The read I can't stop thinking about is How to Save a Sad, Lonely, Angry and Mean Society. It was an interesting examination of the role of the humanities and the arts in creating empathy. But we're less involved in these arts than ever before. I was sad to hear that, because I love going to museums and orchestras and plays and concerts and (obvi) books. It was a great call to to re-discover the humanist code and cozy up to the question: how should I live my life?

Woman on xx